Today I’m fixing a problem that I caused myself by not changing how I deal with it

This, despite having noticed last time that I could avoid the problem by doing things differently next time.


Basically I have chosen to be irritated twice.


Once with them for doing THEM


Once with myself for not allowing for this.


Despite KNOWING in advance what I needed to do.


.....


The most powerful stress removing, rain making, problem solving, life improving thing that anyone can do is point the finger at themselves.


I catch myself complaining...


Why haven’t they...

Why don’t they...

If only they would just...


And then I realise. Sooner and sooner actually.


That I’m putting the problem in the one place where I’m powerless to fix it.


I’m making it their responsibility and choosing to suffer the consequences of their action or inaction.


I’m running a business, a home, a family, a podcast, a whatever and expecting every human involved to behave entirely in MY best interest all of the time.


Then I’m choosing to get upset, frustrated, or or retaliatory when they don’t.


Basically I’m making me like being me less and alienating them for doing their best for them.


I’m assuming that the whole world revolves around me and everyone else is here to serve me.


Given that everyone in the world has their own view of the world. Their own version of what’s best for them and their own stuff to run, my hope is the hope of a madman!


But if I turn it around.


If own all of it.


That’s the game changer.


As I see it it’s possible to lose a large chunk of our lives searching for systems and solutions out there in pursuit of changing how others act forgetting that we are in complete control over how we do.


Question as simple as,


Do all people do this?

Is everybody upset or struggling with this?

What am I avoiding saying or doing?

Is that true?


Can serve to quickly show us if we are avoiding taking responsibility.


From there it’s not a huge step to start choosing a new way to see it, a new action, and a new world view.


It’s sort of like a computer game.


We can either choose to own getting to the next level or we can choose to stay where we are and keep being killed by the same thing that others have learned how to breeze past.


Both are fine of course they are both challenging but only taking responsibility is empowering.

So that’s what I try to do. 

It’s also a prerequisite for any type of coaching experience. If you don’t own all of it  you can’t change any of it.

 

Ed Ley  

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