Co-Founding insights

[On Co-founding]

50% of marriages end in divorce

That doesn’t necessarily mean that the remaining 50% were happy, healthy and successful marriages.

An individual on their own really benefits from having clarity on a few things to create a happy, healthy and successful life.

A couple is doomed to suffering their marriage if they don’t marry those things together (pun intended) so that the pictures are compatible.

1. Individuals have a mental picture of what a marriage should look like

2. Individuals have a mental picture of the role they should play in a marriage

3. Individuals have a mental picture of the role the other should play in a marriage

4. People have a mental picture of what parenting should look like and the specific role they have in that

5. People have hopes, dreams and ambitions for the future and the present

6. People desire certain freedoms

7. People have jobs or responsibilities that they hate, don’t mind, enjoy

8. People have flaws and weaknesses that CANNOT be fixed with pressure but only kindness and support

9. People have ideas of fairness

10. People have different notions of what behaviours are expected, acceptable and unacceptable

11. People have triggers that cause them to behave in ways they would like to stop but would like to share them and feel supported

There are more but you get the idea. The brain holds pictures, words, stories, MAPS of the world. If they weren’t deliberately painted they were put there by accident and through observation but they are there.

When two people pictures are different there is misalignment.

Where there is misaligned there is ALWAYS resentment, frustration, disappointment, jealousy, envy, the feeling of being trapped, anxiety, fear, anger, rage, the feeling of unfairness, injustice, resignation, dispondance, sickness, stress, depression, health issues.

And all of the passive aggression, manipulation, conflict, dominating arguments, undone choirs, criticism, judgment, gossip, schrinking, hiding, chronic stress. ALWAYS. Not all of them at the same time, but each individual has their own stress response and symptoms.

And the thing is, without having a clear idea of the things above and discussing them you are reliant upon LUCK 🍀 and the numbers are in and they don’t look good.

Now, the exact same thing is true of a co-founder relationship.

Don’t you owe it to yourself, your co-founders, your investors and anyone you might employ to get clear on this stuff NOW?

Or rely on luck, your call I guess.