Know when someone is going to fail

I always know if someone is going to fail

I guess after this you will too. To begin with it was just a feeling, one that came and I dismissed it. You could call it intuition if intuition means that your unconscious has picked up on a pattern that you consciously haven’t.

I’d be talking with a clients and I’d just know they weren’t going to be successful in what they were committing to.

It took a while to realise it because some people would make the commitment and stick to it and make all the right noises along the way.

Perhaps it’s a diet change, giving up something like smoking or drinking or a new way of leading, parenting, or being with their partner.

They might last a week, 30 days and some with incredible commitment would even make 60 days.

But they’d all fail in the end if they uttered this seemingly innocuous words

“I’ll start on Monday”

Insert your own time scale of choice.

It took me a while to figure out what was going on.

All that’s required for a change in behaviour is a choice to do something different.

“Look I ordered the salad, I’m transformed.”

You aren’t transformed though, you just made a difference choice this once.

What’s required for transformation (meaning, the creation of a new habit, actual brain change) is a collapse of an old belief.

When someone says “I’ll start Monday” what they’re saying is that they can see the LOGIC in the new behaviour. They’d rather not have to do it but if they MUST in order to get something they want they’ll force themselves to do it while they gather the motivation and MINDSET between now and Monday.

Which is like the brain SCREAMING 😱

I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS

Which is fine if it’s a one off or a once a year thing like a tax return. Your brain will fight you until the consequences of not doing it loom too large to not.

But this is the exact recipe for never creating a habit. They still have the old belief in place that underlie the habit they are trying to change.

So if I hear the immortal words. I keep exploring until I see the old belief collapse in front of me.

Ps this is also the reason why advice rarely works.