Divorce rate in Denmark is 50%

The divorce rate in Denmark is 50%

Somebody told me that pretty soon after our arrival in Denmark.

I remember because I googled the Uk stats which were 42% at the time.

I remember thinking we’d significantly impacted our odds of lasting just by moving house.

That and at least we were still statistically likely to be happy nonetheless.

(Ref: Denmark is “happiest country in the world”)

Of course nobody thinks it’ll be them when they get married.

Although if you think about it, and that’s what I’m doing here...

If you invite the most in love couple you know over to your house and then take a bet you may end up betting on yourself for the divorce given that it will be one of you.

Also I don’t know about you but 100% of my previous relationships failed and so did my wife’s which isn’t a great track record even if it’s a prerequisite.

Everyone I have ever lived with or shared a consistent and long amount of time with has found me annoying in some way or other.

And the biggest kicker.

Some of the stuff I do even annoys me about me.

It really shouldn’t come as a surprise that you might not be the easiest person in the world to live with.

That’s all just for starters.

I also never displayed any evidence that I can competently raise a brand new human being and certainty not TWO while maintain a relationship.

I’m guessing those previous relationships would have failed significantly sooner had I been sleep deprived had tomato juice on all my t-shirts and I’d had all my mental resources drained by 40,000 questions per day and an inclination to not listen.

50% isn’t high!

It’s a bloody miracle.

I think, THAT is a much better way to think about it.

Rather than believing some insane idea that marriage should be a fairy tale and that if it isn’t happily ever after it’s not worth it we should approach it like grown ups.

Perhaps you could sit down every now and then and agree on how you might try and go about it?

Perhaps create a system for the stuff that happens every day like meals, cleaning, bed times, getting ready in the morning and decided how that’ll work. Time tables seemed to work super well at school.

Perhaps sit down and have an “I love you but...” conversation where you get to say hey, it’d be cool if you cleaned the toilet every now and then and maybe even put it in the diary.

This last one is a big one too. See people change, hopes and dreams change, so every once in a while having that, what do you want from your life and how can I help you get it is a really cool thing to do. People get depressed fast when life starts to look like ground hog day or lacks a purpose.

Don’t know what made me think of that...

Of course I only have NOT divorced YET and some clients who tell me things got better after implementing the above as evidence of anything.

So make of the above what you will.