A super simple way to NOT get what you want is to not SAY what you want

A super simple way to NOT get what you want is to not SAY what you want

I know that to be true because I’ve done it, in loads of different areas.

In my business for example,

Do I want my clients to act in certain ways?

Yes!

I want them to pay a certain way

I want them to behave in certain ways around our time and act in certain ways within our sessions.

I want a rewarding and powerful experience for both us and I have experience in how create that.

By not telling what I want I leave things ambiguous and leave us both guessing, and hoping and just doing what we think.

I also get to avoid the possible consequences that come with stating what I want like, losing the client, feeling uncomfortable, being judged as selfish.

So I resign myself to chance.

I can be happy if they coincidently follow my unstated desires and frustrated and annoyed if they don’t.

If I’m lucky I can build up silent resentment towards them, start hating them and my job and perhaps even start treating them differently.

Pretty soon I’ll want to start doing something different for a living or just sit festering with resentment every working day.

Sounds ridiculous mapped out like that.

Even a little crazy

But I’ve seen it done so many times, right the way down to quitting what they love.

I’ve done it too.

I just try to catch them early.

In fact most, if not all people do this.

Leaders fail to define the values and corresponding behaviours they want and don’t want from those they hire and so find themselves hiring the wrong people, getting frustrated and annoyed with them and then resenting the hiring process and avoiding one of most powerful if not the MOST powerful tool for business growth.

Leaders failing to define the life they want and don’t want outside of work and instead leave it to chance and ultimately end up being bored and frustrated at home and so reaching for their phones or just dozing on the sofa.

Leaders fail to define what a good meeting looks like and how they want them to be conducted and so again leave it to chance and wonder why the meetings multiply and productivity slows.

I get that all of this sounds daft and finger pointy.

Humans behaviour always does

Like - I have a really important deadline and I want to do well. I know,💡 I think I’ll scroll on my phone until I’m full of adrenaline and rush it and have to cancel a bunch of stuff I really want to do.

I’ve done that

You’ve done that

I still do it

That’s not the debate

What we’re talking about is how to create a desirable present and compelling future.

And that is done by getting really clear on what you want and don’t want and sharing it with the people around you.

Not in an aggressive, or else sort of way but in a way that creates clarity, direction, focus, strategy and alignment for ourselves and the people in our lives.

In spite of the fact that we tend to do really daft things a lot!

We’re all really aiming for a little less daft aren’t we?