Stress and overwhelm might be feelings but they are usually the result of a lot of life complexity and things moving too fast to get a handle on it.

Him: I’m stressed and overwhelmed and I’m not sure what to do about it and what I want my job to look like.

Me: what’s the cause of your stress and overwhelm?

Him: my family is growing and I’m getting disturbed sleep, my wife is going back to work, I have no leadership experience and don’t know if I want or even can be a leader, there are a million things to do, big things I want to be involved but don’t know where to start.

I’m a co-founder and CPO of a fast growing Start up.

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Stress and overwhelm might be feelings but they are usually the result of a lot of life complexity and things moving too fast to get a handle on it.

This is where Jacob was when we first spoke.

It’s one of those situations that if you look at it objectively you would likely reach the conclusion that it’s just REALITY. This is just what’s happening, there is nothing you can do about it, you just have to come to terms with it.

Honestly that’s the thought that stops people asking for help.

Smart people OFTEN outsmart themselves by looking at a situation and if they judge it as unfixable they don’t ask for help.

Fortunately Jacob had some cofounders that had worked with me before and urged him to take the leap anyway.

I did two things.

1. I taught him how the brain works and how it makes sense of the challenges in front of it and decides how to respond.

2. I took him through some active demonstrations that helped him create some clarity around each of those areas of life he’d mentioned when we first spoke.

What he did with this was incredible to watch and be a part of.

Once he’d created some clarity and direction for himself he turned his attention to leadership but not as most people think of it.

He became a facilitator of SELF leadership. ie he did not lead. He supported his team to lead themselves.

That gave him 20 hours a week back straight away.

He then took on 2 more C level positions and did the same with them.

He then helped to create vision, mission and direction for the whole company and everyone in it.

Life does have a lot of moving parts and small changes like a sick child can cause ripple effects everywhere else.

We can’t change that but clarity and certainty of routines, processes, and guiding principles removes the stress and overwhelm associated with it which in turn changes how skilfully we approach it.

Are you outsmarting yourself into thinking your situation is different and so resisting asking for help?