Can't stop the vice as a CEO?

Binge drinking wasn’t my refuge or medication to stop me contemplating my life

It was just what we did.

It was a big part of what made my life so much dam fun.

I’d meet friends at the pub maybe 6pm on a Tuesday or 11am on a Sunday it didn’t matter.

6 hours later we could be 50 miles away, on a boat, at a house party or a club having met a bunch of new people, have a dozen new stories to tell and laughed ourselves to tears several times over.

But then later it wasn’t that.

I started a company. Had staff. clients. Had a mortgage and responsibilities.

I was no longer binge drinking.

I was still using it to take the edge off though. To transition from problem solving mode to relaxing mode and I didn’t like the side effects. A few beers, a bottle of wine.

I didn’t like that I woke up groggy and tired. I didn’t like that it was causing me gut health issues that were causing low back pain and eczema.

Most importantly I didn’t like that my thinking wasn’t sharp and clear and that I was unnecessarily anxious.

That wasn’t the worst part though.

The worst part was that I couldn’t stop.

It’s when you try and stop something and you discover you can’t that you really come face to face with the idea that it’s not you in the driving seat which is terrifying.

We’ll do almost anything to avoid coming face to face with that fact.

I’d manage a week, sometimes even 30 days. Then I’d always revert back.

Writing this today I’ve drank a hand fully of times in 3 years and not at all for the first year and a half.

So what changed?

I got REALLY clear on cause and effect. Not just in my head but on paper.

Then I made an honest commitment that I knew I could keep, not one that I’d have to will myself to. One I knew would move me forwards from where I was and allow me to EXPERIENCE the benefits WITHOUT having to use willpower.

Then I did what I needed to do to create the environment, spoke to the important people, and created a plan that would be FUN.

Then I commitment to review the plan and hold myself accountable, not to the outcome but to adjusting the plan until I found the right system for me.

And in all honestly, with those things in place it was easily.

It’s weird we aren’t supposed to say that. “I stopped, it was easy, I rarely give it anything thought. It’s just not a part of me any more”.

It reads like showing off but here’s the thing.

It only reads that way become we are taught that behaviour change is hard won. That it only comes through force of will but it’s not true. It comes simply and effortlessly when the brain feels safe.

When you structure a commitment in such a way that the brain feels safe it feels like the natural, obvious and easy step to take and within a few repetitions it’s a habit.

I’ve repeated this process successfully more than a thousand times with myself and clients. I sort of forget to talk about it. It’s just how I see the world now.

Would you like to experience this sort of freedom?