Stop Imposter Syndrome in 3 Simple Steps

How to Stop Being An Impostor in 3 Steps

Because if you’re suffering from impostor syndrome it’s because you’re being an impostor.

That’s not meant in a finger pointing judgemental, critical or condescending way.

I’ve been there too. I say this because it has real utility and in my opinion it’s a useful starting point for putting this fear of being judged as incompetent to rest.

I’m not against the current narrative of

Don’t worry, you aren’t ACTUALLY an impostor, look at all you’ve achieved.

But unfortunately it plays right along with the impostor syndrome narrative.

You already know you aren’t totally incompetent but that does little to remove the feelings of insecurity.

Or to remove the corresponding behaviours be they people pleasing, never resting, never saying I don’t know, never taking risks or simply feeling inadequate and stressed all the time.

And as a coach my job is to help my clients move through these things to create their grandest vision of themselves.

Ultimately impostor syndrome is about comparison and meeting other peoples perceived expectations.

Will THEY think I’m good enough?

Will THEY think incompetent?

That is why the approach of KNOWING you aren’t an impostor has not worked and never will work.

We are guessing at what THEY believe, what THEY think is valuable and what THEY think is purposeful.

We do this because we haven’t clearly defined what WE believe.

Not just about leadership and business but about everything.

About relationships and life and what it is to be a human.

Our beliefs are our map of the world and the clearer the map the more confident and calm we become.

We aren’t clearly on our deepest values.

The standards we hold ourselves to and try our best to meet.

So we guess at what standards they might be holding us to and because we cannot know this we have no choice but to aim at PERFECTION which is to say we try to make no mistakes and be all things to all people.

An impossible task.

We aren’t clear on our purpose and so we attempt to be the solution to everyone’s problem and end up burning out as a result.

If you want to stop trying to live up to other peoples imagined standards you need to do the work of defining your own.