My way of navigating the world was made wrong by the (well meaning) adults around me.

I was told I was shy when I was a child. I had no reason not to believe them so it became a part of my identity.

My way of navigating the world was made wrong by the (well meaning) adults around me.

I got nervous when put in front of people I didn’t know, barely knew or was encountering in a new context or environment.

In reality we are wired to be on alert in these situations to quickly react in response to the judgment or criticism of others, especially as children.

So encountering a large group of relative strangers to our brain 🧠 is the single greatest threat to our survival out side of encountering a sabre tooth tiger 🐅

Shyness is, the same as small talk, a strategy for creating safety while we get the measure of the dynamic we are entering.

We so fear public speaking or sharing something vulnerable and true about ourselves because the more eyeballs 👁 the greater the risk.

And the truth is that people are judgmental and critical.

Judgements and criticisms live at the front of minds and the tip of tongues.

But they live there because they are what we most fear people see in us. We are ALL on alert.

What does this mean?

The critic isn’t thinking about you at all.

They are worried about themselves and something in you shone a light on it.

You WILL be judged so be judged for speaking from your own values and beliefs that you have tested in the real world.

I find that this takes almost all of the nerves away.

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