Why we consistently fail to create new habits and what to do about it

Why we consistently fail to create new habits and what to do about it

I’ve seen people pulled out of depression by taking magnesium citrate.

I’ve seen people experiencing waves of anxiety let it go from one day to the next by getting sufficient B12.

I can create anxiety in my body with a few simple steps. Drop a few hours of sleep, under eat, throw in excessive caffeine and some deep focused work and bam, there it is.

I’ve had many clients stop anxiety or reactive anger by balancing their blood sugar.

The fact is that the body has some pretty basic NEEDS and unmet the body starts to let us know in one way or another through physical or mental indicators.

So why is it that we struggle so much with consistently meeting those needs?

It all comes down to something called ALLOSTASIS.

The brain’s energy budgeting system.

The brain is constantly asking, What’s happening? What’s going to happen? What shall I do about that? Is what I’m planning on doing worth the effort?

All in a bid to survive, maintain hierarchy, connection, resources and gather more for the future.

Those habits that we TRY but fail to acquire are ones that the brain determines not worth the energy/ too high cost.

It’s those habits that we can’t seem to stop that the brain deems most definitely worth the effort/ reward ratio.

We struggle to meet our basic needs because are brain has deemed something else MORE important.

Skipping sleep

Skipping meals

Avoiding exercise

Eating low or no nutrient food

Eating while distracted or rushing

Not moving enough during the day

Not eating enough nutrient rich food

In short not meeting our physiological NEEDS causes physical and mental health challenges (not saying it’s the only thing).

But it is the brain determining these actions to be of low value or high cost that drives the actions.

This in and of itself can sound like madness but lives are complicated.

The habit we wish we had our brain associates with a high energy cost because of its combination with potential loss. (Loss of time, relationship, sleep, status, job).

The typical approach we take in this situation is try and force new action.

The more skilful approach is to get really clear on how to meet your needs without the cost or even better with a net gain.

Try this simple framework for getting clarity on cost and gain:

1. What is the habit you wish to create?

2. Why is that important to me?

3. Why is that important to them?

4. What are the pros of doing this?

5. What are the cons of doing this?

7. What are the pros of not doing this?

8. What are the cons of not doing this?

9. How can you have the pros without the cons?

This clarity makes the brain feel safer in creating a new habit or stopping an old one.