Lessons on tension from a Conservative Club Bar job

I worked in a Conservative Club Bar of all places, 22 years ago.

People rarely talked politics.

It was mostly lorry drivers, post men, retired landlords, military, car dealers who wanted a cheap drink and a good laugh.

They had great banter and stories and most of them were retired or on wind down.

I’d work from 2-7pm a few days a week and there were about 40 regulars I’d see during that window and they all had their own time specific and weather dependent ‘usual’.

One of the guys, Dave, was a car deal.

People called him ‘Daewoo Dave’, he called himself that too.

He’d worked for Daewoo once upon a time and been allowed to buy perhaps 20 at cost price when they went bankrupt.

He made it his job to sell them off driving from pub to pub just showing his face, having a few drinks and see who showed up.

Once every six weeks I’d go with him to an auction in Wales where he would buy 4 or 5 old bangers.

He was looking for those that would be worth 3 times what they were selling for if they actually functioned properly.

I was there to drive one back to his farm.

It would have no first gear, or third or no hand break or no break pads.

It was pretty exciting.

The first few times I drove like the tension I held in my body was the essential missing ingredient in keeping the car going.

Like I could some how hope, worry, hold my breath, laser focus my eyes on the road, tense my body and jaw and this would see me to my destination.

One day it wasn’t enough.

I broke down on the Severn bridge.

I called Dave and he just laughed.

He sent me a mechanic who poked around under the bonnet for a few minutes and I was soon on my way again.

Rested and ready to tense my way back to the farm.

I told Dave about my tension later and he looked at me like I was a bit odd. “It’ll go or it won’t, your feelings won’t change anything”.

I figured he was right.

I stop tensing.

He was.

It turned out to be true about a whole bunch of things.

Like other peoples actions, presentations, the stock market, the weather, interviews, whether flights are delayed or not.

And that tension isn’t just a waste of energy.

It makes you less able to effectively response to what’s actually happening and less likely to learn from the experience.