I’ve always been wary when people start OTHERING

I’ve always been wary when people start OTHERING

When the conversation about why someone is failing to achieve a particular result is different depending on whether you’re with them or separate from them.

I first noticed it with health practitioners and the people they were trying to help, remove pain, lose weight, get fit, etc.

Together it was, you need to do XYZ

Apart it was, they lack willpower, discipline, they don’t want it enough.

To my mind I was like, well if that’s really the problem perhaps we should tell them and see if they want support with that?

At least then they’d be more likely to get the result.

I later learned that what was behind this OTHERING where people say THEY as a means to distance THEM from US was fear.

A fear that was there because the practitioner feared that if they couldn’t get the client the result then they would be out of a job.

The fear was leading them to push the discomfort in to the OTHER by blaming them.

The real issue was a failure to clearly define task ownership.

If a practitioner clearly outlined their job and the clients job AND the challenge of consistently doing what needed to be done and who owned that problem -The fear and othering went away.

The practitioner could even create a better or bonus service supporting or facilitating that consistency.

Why is this a relevant story?

It’s an important realisation for leadership too. If the conversation WITH employee is different to the one WITHOUT then there isn’t a clear separation of TASK OWNERSHIP.