The neuroscience of why we react and how we do and how to change it.
[How to Change Your Response]
The neuroscience of why we react how we do and how to change it.
Scenario One
You keep catching yourself micro managing and you’re experience the negative consequences of it as you’re becoming a bottleneck.
Scenario Two
You find yourself getting particularly aggressive and direct when your are in disagreements.
Scenario Three
You find yourself going quiet and not speaking up when you have something to contribute.
Our usual response to acting how we wish we didn’t is firstly to get annoyed, with them or ourselves or both.
Then we resolve to try harder next time. This almost guarantees that the circle will continue.
If we really want to make a change the first thing to understand is why it’s happening in the first place.
The brain is constantly making predictions based on the environment so that it can make energy efficient responses.
In this scenario the brain has interpreted what’s going on and made a negative prediction of the future.
What that means is that enough markers are present from things that have happened in the past for the brain to make a negative prediction of the future.
Then it searches the brain of an appropriate response to avoid this negative prediction and if it doesn’t find a new strategy it will default to what it did last time eg instruct, argue, go quiet.
In much the same way as someone who feels like they were about to get into a physical fight is making a negative prediction ie I’m going to get hit, it will hurt, I’ll miss work tomorrow etc
The brain searches for a response.
Someone practised in self defence is still making a negative prediction but has a more skilful response.
Just like martial arts we don’t just generically learn to fight we don’t just generically learn to change our responses.
We take a specific scenario where we wish to respond differently and we do two things.
1. We map out the scenario and the response that isn’t working
2. We map out the new more skilful response
You might even write it out several times, refer back to it and even take the note into the situation with you.
After the first success the brain will opened the door to this becoming habit.
3 or 4 successful repetitions and it will become the default response.
Once you have mastered multiple possible scenarios you might reach the stage where you see a disagreement, a staff member being stuck or a chance to speak up as something you make a positive prediction about because you know your response will lead to growth for you and them.