What is Denmark like compared to England?

I was asked this question every day for my first two years and still occasionally now.

That and, what do you think about the Danes?

I guess a natural part of moving to a new land and creating a new life is trying to create some certainty around the land and it’s people so that you can operate within it.

This makes these questions likely the MOST important ones to get right.

I don’t know if people know when they ask them, they are probably asking to find out what I think of them.

But really they are discovering how successful you are going to be and who you are.

Just like the British asking about the weather is really asking how you feel which demonstrates your values over time.

Imagine if my answer was,

“The country has the highest tax in the world so it’s hard to make a living, the weather is miserable, the people are closed and hard to get along with.”

Then I tell that story 50 times.

Each time strengthening it and so looking for evidence to support it.

I then become so busy looking for supporting evidence that I don’t have time or attention for finding evidence that will support the life I want for myself.

This is just how our brains work. The statement is taken by the brain as something like a goal. We literally attract this life to us.

The sad thing is, this is the description the majority of Expats gave to me.

To answer the first question I needed to know what England was like.

It dawned on me that that was a question I couldn’t answer or could a million ways.

In the Uk could point to corruption and hierarchical structure and I could point to the incredible systems that supported me creating a business, educating my children and keeping us all healthy and safe.

I could talk about the incredible diversity and the amazing community feel and constant communication between friends and strangers alike or the stark contrast between poverty and wealth.

And in do doing, only really reveal myself not a clear understanding of the country.

So my answer,

I really don’t know. I live in a beautiful part of Denmark, I have beaches, forests and lots of exciting businesses to work with right on my door step. With how clean it is and the bike lanes I really feel like I can see where my tax goes which makes me feel happy to pay it.

What are Danes like?

No idea I’ve only met 700 or so. I tend to attract people with similar values to myself so awesome I guess (does that sound smug?). I’ve heard stories of people finding integration difficult and I’m trying to be very careful to not make someone else’s story mine to the extent that I start attracting it. Your a Dane. How would you describe the Danes? (Ha, flipped it on ya)

What has become clear to me is that if you don’t take the time to know what you think there will be no shortage of people to tell you what they think and that is dangerous.

It’s dangerous because when we don’t create our own answers we adopt those of the people we interact with and that will determine what we see and that will determine what we experience.

It’s the day to day questions to which we need answers we both believe and that support the life we desire.

HELL is the inevitable result of a failure to decide what you think and the whole world is set up to tell you what to think.