600 Coffee is in Copenhagen

Christina made this off hand comment to me while were skiing in France over Christmas

We were having that, are you going to make any New Years resolution conversation.

It sort of means, what would make next year better than this year when you think about it and I like that.

I had decided that I wanted to start growing my business in Denmark rather than just the Uk and I was unsure how I wanted to do it.

She said, why don’t you just knock on people’s door and ask if they want to come out and play.

That basically summed up my childhood.

It sounds easy but really it’s not.

The parent/ gate keeper has to approve then the person has to deem the potential fun they could have with you as better than the actual fun they are currently having or potential fun they could have with someone else.

Still that was my jam so it really helped me to formulate and simplify the idea in my mind.

I started walking into health businesses for a chat, I started messaging people on social media.

My pitch was something like, I’m Ed, I’ve just moved here with my danish wife and family. I did this in the Uk, I have no network here and you seem interesting.

This was absolutely a numbers game. Many ignored me although I still get messages from people responding to a message I sent in 2017.

What blew me away though was how many people wanted to meet and hear my story with little or nothing to go on but my introduction.

What also became clear to me very quickly was that people wanted to tell me their story.

People love telling their story and it’s rare that we get an opportunity to do so.

I think it’s more than that too.

I think most of the people around us hold us as a fixed story and the longer we have known them the more out of date that story can be.

Just like the parent that treats their 42 year old like they are still a child we all end up in a way, living with strangers.

We have to make a conscious effort to see those around us with fresh eyes and at least update our stereotype of them from time to time.

The chance to tell our story to a new person is a change to cement the newest incarnation of how we see ourselves and it’s incredibly uplifting.

I’ve done about 600 coffee meetings now. I did one today and one on Monday so my consistency is pretty good.

People actually contact me and say I’d like to be one of your coffee people.

I’ve learned that people always have an agenda even when they don’t know it which is often but the worst thing you can do is try to prepare for it or guess it.

It turns you into a person who tries to guard or direct and that makes you come across as manipulative somehow.

The fact that they have an agenda does not mean they aren’t open to a new one, people aren’t business cards or robots.

I’ve learned that people love real conversations and are happy to go deep quickly and that’s where the best stories live.

It’s funny we watch tv and think that deep conversation come with the right words and those words flow.

Perhaps because of this we butt in or save people when they are silent for a second or two.

But actually, that two or even 5 seconds of silence could be the best gift they could have received at least that day but maybe even longer than that and that’s pretty cool.

The silence is the creation of new connections in the brain that could be of value.

They biggest thing I’ve learned is that nobody is not interesting, everyone is fascinating and they have an amazing story to tell if you let them.

The added bonus to that for me at least is that I have been able to grow a business that I love by doing it and my marketing is just as much fun as the business itself.

If you fancy a coffee, just let me know