Gossiping, Complaining, Criticising

We gossip, we complain, we criticise. We pull others down and we don't know why. 

When we draw our attention to it we start to believe we are bad people and feel even worse about ourselves than we did before. 

When we are free from these behaviours though we feel lighter, more confident and the freedom of possibility. 

The first step towards this freedom is self-awareness, noticing when these behaviours are present for us. 

The next step is understanding why people do them. 

Gossiping, complaining and criticising are products of fear. 

We fear our safety within our tribe, we fear we aren't needed, we fear we aren't important. 

We show others that they cannot survive without us by pointing out where they are 'wrong' or inadequate in order to increase our own perceived safety. 

We are taught from an early age that being right and having the answers is the how we lead the tribe and validate our position. 

One question can move us more quickly towards freedom when faced with gossip, complaining, criticism

What survival need isn't being met? 

What is the root of their or my fear. 

Gossiping
Complaining
Criticism 

Are all a cry for help. 

For validation
For acceptable
For need

All attack is a cry for help. 

Freedom comes when we cause others to feel like they don't need us and we accept that we don't need them. 

In a nice way. 
Not in a I don't need Anybody way
But in a, I'm not dependent specifically on any one person. 

Ed Ley