Imagine if you can that it is your life's work to push a particular rock up a particular hill.

You love your job, there are challenges, massive learning curves and hard times but in the end, there is growth. 

That growth is all demonstrated in a particular way - the rock moving up the hill. 

With a simple metric like this in place life seems incredibly meaningful. 

The gym, was my rock. Money, as I see it, is a form of voting or acknowledging value. 

Your income is a direct measure of the number of people that you help and the degree to which you help them. 

If it's going up then your message is hitting the mark, you are making an impact on the world and you have a measure to prove it. 

So as you can imagine, when a few months ago I decided to stop meaningfully pushing the rock up the hill life got a little strange. 

My life purpose wasn't taken away but the tool I used to bench mark progress was. 

I have metaphorically speaking, been wandering around on a the side of a hill with no rock to push. 

I've noticed less intensity in my workouts, more alcohol intake, less drive to get general life stuff done. 

In the absence of a rock my motivation to 'get after it' has dimmed. 

You probably think you know where this is going. 

You likely think I'm going to say find your purpose, and find your rock, and those things
are great, you should. 

I was tempted to do that but I think that would have just been me creating my own excuse. 

Actually, chatting to a friend of mine today,
Paul, he reminded me that we aren't human doings, we are human beings. 

Sometimes life happens, sometimes you are between rocks or unable to get to the rock because of life. 

There is still growth in these times but it's different, its uncomfortable and strange because it's new and uncertain. There's no clear metric for success and often there are things out of your control. 

Like a constant tug of war between the fear of losing what you have and the fear of not getting what you want. 

You can use these times to pace up and down and fret and huff or even panic. Like I've been doing with little benefit. 

Or you can sit back, smell the roses, enjoy life a little, realise that you are only here once. 

Be kind to yourself and trust that everything will be alright in the end, and if it isn't alright, it isn't the end. 

So just be,
For now. 

The rock is coming. 

Ed Ley