2. You’re using hierarchy to move people.

You have become so wrapped up in urgency that you are crossing the boundaries into telling people what to do or doing things for them. This serves to make them think that they are useless and that you think you are better than them. Driving stress, poor culture, quiet quitting and high staff churn

3. You have become reliant upon short term negative consequences to cause you to act

There’s the peers path, this one seems safe and familiar. It’s full of the me too’s of shared experience. But often me too’s are of shared suffering of disconnected relationships, illness, back pain and what’s wrong with people who don’t think like us.

There’s the praise path, this path is often intoxicating as first we acted and got applause. Now we act for the applause and find ourselves pandering to it. It controls our choices and so direction. We are blown where ever the wind takes us and physically suffer, first only when the applause is silent then always as we see the difference between acceptance and entertainment.

Christina made this off hand comment to me while were skiing in France over Christmas

We were having that, are you going to make any New Years resolution conversation.

It sort of means, what would make next year better than this year when you think about it and I like that.

I had decided that I wanted to start growing my business in Denmark rather than just the Uk and I was unsure how I wanted to do it.

I could say what I want to say to my boss or my employees without fear of what they might think.

I could dance like nobody was watching and single like nobody is listening.

And a million other things.

Some even hold it up like a badge or a flag they climbed up a mountain to plant.

“ I don’t care what anyone thinks!”

We seem to have created a way of thinking that tells us that time is a more primary part of change than it is. We might say that it takes a lot of time to build a house or it take a long time to build a business or a relationship or a life.

But really those are all process driven. It takes the time those processes take, the quality of those processes, multiplied by the speed of execution.

How much do you charge? It’s the instinctive first question, it’s also the least informative. Coach is their label, what they are to you is a problem solver or rather a solved problem(s) is the side effect you’re looking for.

Your job when selecting a coach of any sort is to ascertain if they can facilitate that.