How we Thrive

We are exactly where we are supposed to be. 

^^^ that’s one of those woo woo phrased that always confused me. If you’re stuck experiencing things in life you don’t want its not much consolation either.

It does however fit the model of how our brain and nervous system works.

Our brain constantly moves through these 3 phases.

Note: we can also be in different phases in different areas in our lives.

Survival mode

Automatically expressing behaviours that we have been conditioned to believe will keep us safe. These are fight, flight or freeze actions or safety creating behaviours ie ones that make us feel safe.

(Longer periods here are signatured by low energy, excess fat, tiredness, stress, anxiety, pain or generally feeling lost or like crap all of the time.)

Frustrated by life and struggling to imagine ever feeling ok again.

Exploration mode

Asking questions and experimenting in order to grow or find an opportunity for experience ourselves and who we are more.

Thrive mode

We are experiencing a new level of growth, depth or energy. Loving life and wondering how we were ever anywhere else.

You see if we’re suffering something it is our body or brain telling us that a survival need isn’t being met.

If we can cut ourselves some slack, allow ourselves some comfort we can now move with this discomfort into exploration. It’s the resistance that causes the suffering to persist.

Once in exploration phase we can search around for the simple changes that will guide us out of survival mode and we can now lift up our heads and start taking advantage of opportunities.

Contrary to belief there is no way to live in Thrive phase all of the time.

We can however learn the system of how to rapidly move through the phases rather than get stuck constantly in survival mode. We can learn to thrive more and more deeply.

Each phase simply requires a blueprint. A series of places that we check and do some work if necessary.

[Mine are lymphatic system, breathing, digestion, primal movements, circadian rhythms, habits values, beliefs, success systems in each area of life]

The challenge with the survival and exploration phases is their uncertainty.

We constantly second guess ourselves, tell ourselves we can’t do it and are still being chased by feelings that support inaction.

It is in this phase where the best course of action is to ask someone for help while accepting that your brain will try every trick in the book to stop you.

The next stage of your life is always the most glorious. That’s just how this stuff works. Greatest light always follows greatest darkness. The greatest calm always followed the greatest struggle. We know this.


Ed Ley  

ps If you are ready to start your exploration to thrive please get in touch.