Well, that was an adrenaline fuelled 3 months

All I can think about now is how on earth we are going to navigate getting 7 suit cases, 4 lots of hand luggage and 2 children all the way to our new flat. 

But the past 3 months have been sponsored by the words risk and volatility. 

From the moment we made our decision it felt like it might all slip away. 

The house took 2 weeks to sell, it sounds fast, very fast. But Christina and I were so blown away by the valuation and so pumped up on how fast things were moving that it felt like forever. 

Then from the moment of sale it sat like a cloud above us. We knew it could collapse which would be a nightmare, Annabelle's school starts August 1st, we really couldn't afford it to fall through. 

Then there was the business. We had to aim for a private sale to protect our staff. 

3 months ago I met a nice man who was very keen on my business and our whole adventure. 

He spent the next 3 months using our story and evident time line against us to try and force us to just hand over the keys and walk away. 

*Daddy, most definitely, withheld approval with that one. 

Ordinarily I would have laughed it off but at this time it served only to compound the stressful situation. 

We agreed a few gym sales that ultimately fell through due to complications and misunderstandings. 

It is only today, where we sit, sales completed, that the adrenaline has finally subsided. 

Could the last few months have felt like less of a panic? 

Yes I think they probably could, if I could do it again I would have done the gym sale myself. 

I would have written down what was important and what wasn't and a timeline. 

These two things would have changed everything I believe, but a couple of things I've been thinking about. 

Life is inherently risky, we trust in the stability of staying still, we trust that the things we already have are in the bank so do speak. 

In reality, stability is a myth most often created by turning a blind eye to things like work, bills, relationships, health all in some way. 

That's not an accusation it's just human nature. 

We would be a mess if we just worried all the time about all the things that could go wrong.

So why the additional worry for us?

Well, the large number of things we had no choice but to focus on. Incidentally with those things in focus our attention has been diverted away from health and relationships too. 

Habits alone have kept us in the game there. 

Humans just only have so much band width. That's why our habits ultimately define our outcomes. 

My biggest take away though is that a life with fear of loss, a life with adrenaline, is a life where you care enough about what you are striving for to fear losing it. 

Flat out panic isn't great, but excitement and fear are two sides of the same coin. 

So make sure you've done your safety checks, make sure you pass the height restriction, strap yourself in.

Then get on the roller coaster. 

It's the best way to know you're alive. 

Ed Ley