When I get to Denmark I'm gonna...

I've said that to myself a few times recently. 

... start meditation again
... stop the nightly beer 🍻

A thing I want to start doing again because it makes me feel good or a thing I want to stop doing cos it makes me feel crap. 

Note: I'm not saying you should or should do anything, it's just what makes me feel good. 

I've been doing it a lot and I think it's the uncertainty of life at the moment. I feel like I'm on a mental pause. We do them in the run up to Christmas or holidays or even weekends. This one is a 'when I start my new life'. 

Which is both long and also ridiculous. 

I'm not on a pause, we never are. 

We are always becoming who we are whether we like it or not. You can't get stop. 

Thoughts or the thoughts we pay attention to become actions become habits. 

We become permanently mentally paused. 

The thought, "I'll have a beer tonight" re-enforces that thought. It becomes easier to think next time. 

Then it becomes a habit. 

*brain geeks note: this is called neuro-Darwinism ie survival of the fittest thought, it is how habits are formed. 

Dominant thought = following action. 

A strengthened neural pathway just like any skill. Thoughts are skills. 

The way we talk to people

The way we talk to ourselves (in your head or out loud although if it's the latter there are people who can help 😂) 

The promises we make to ourselves (quitting a task we promised ourselves we would keep like stopping a workout half way)

Yelling at our kids 

The habitual actions we perform day to day. 

We are always becoming. 

Each action we choose once becomes infinitely more likely to happen again. 

The good news is.

We never become. 

Nobody does. 

We can change direction at any time. 

Ignore the dominant thought - do a new action instead - then begin to strengthen that thought.

and when you slip back 

Go easy on yourself 

Remember. 

We are always becoming
We never become. 

This is true for you and me and everyone else.

Everyone has potential
Nobody has reached it yet 

So when someone acts in a way you don't understand or when you do. 

Remember 

Have some empathy and self awareness 

We are all becoming
None of us have become. 

So when you notice the thought that leads to the action, challenge it, this is self awareness, reward it now. Don't say 

"I'll change next week, next month, when I move to Denmark..." 

When you wait, 
You train the thought
That says "not now, then". 

You are always becoming
You never become 

Do it now,
Not then. 

Ed Ley