⭕️ You will never fully convince someone they are wrong, only reality can. Support them to expose their reality
⭕️ The place you most need to go is hidden where you least want to look. Get a coach, board, mentor and give them freedom to challenge you.
⭕️ There is no evolution without skin in the game. Evolution is often dependent upon facing your fears.
Read More2. You’re using hierarchy to move people.
You have become so wrapped up in urgency that you are crossing the boundaries into telling people what to do or doing things for them. This serves to make them think that they are useless and that you think you are better than them. Driving stress, poor culture, quiet quitting and high staff churn
3. You have become reliant upon short term negative consequences to cause you to act
Read MoreGuilt often seems to be the thing we’re talking about when we say work life balance
When we are at home we should be at work when at work we should be at home and that’s without considering fitness and friends.
Sometimes it seems like a pursuit of being good enough. Avoiding too much conflict or criticism.
Like we live to make other people happy.
Read More60% of first time CEOs report loneliness to the degree that it negatively impact performance.
Not surprisingly really
When polled public speaking comes out as # 1 of peoples greatest fears. That is to say, it ranks HIGHER than fear of death.
The Anterior Cingulate Cortex in the brain is on constant high alert to public failure and in particular INDIVIDUAL public failure.
Which is a thought that can make someone feel pretty alone and under the spot light.
Read More1. List all the stuff that prevents your from achieving your daily objectives and create a plan for dealing with each one.
2. Set realistic daily objectives.
3. List what you have a tendency to do when things get tough. (Do you distract yourself with a new shiny idea that’s fun to talk about and imagine? Write that down so you recognising it as the enemy when it walks in you’ll be far less likely to fall for its lies).
Read MoreThese 9 things aren’t easy. They usually come as a set. If you can’t imagine doing one it’s probably because another one is not already in place that is making it seem impossible.
But if you want to be the calm, consistent and stable leader to your team you must operate yourself in a way that creates than calmness, consistency and clarity inside of you. You cannot fake it. The body, your words and your actions give off too many clues. You are the indicator that your team responds to. They will only change when you do.
Are you ready to start spreading calmness and clarity?
Or perhaps a better question, how much longer are you willing
Read MoreI should be helping more at home, I should be helping my team, I should be connecting with the customers and keeping them happy, the show ends if I don’t keep the board happy, I’m getting fat, unhealthy and my sleep is suffering I should be doing more for my health!
The first step I have my clients take is to let go of the should, the must, the have to, even if just for a while.
Focusing on what’s not being done only grows the feeling of hopelessness which grows that feeling of overwhelm and exhaustion.
Read MoreGetting defensive
Withdrawing from some people
Explaining to people how they’re wrong
Getting agree when people cancel on me
Basically being someone other than I wanted to be with others.
I was pretty relieved when I discovered everyone has their own version of this going on.
Although probably a far less sarcastic version.
The brain is always measuring our level of safety within the tribe
Via a part of the brain called the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (mostly) it constantly scans for risk of loss or opportunity to gain hierarchy and connection.
Read MoreThey have always been people with a lot of responsibility. CxO’s, Partners, Doctors, Judges, Entrepreneurs etc
But back in my personal training days working with these folks I would be pulling my hair out trying to get them to create the habits necessary to achieve what they were paying me for.
Their lives were just so unpredictable.
They would get incredible results in 21,30 and even 60 day programs but eventually they would regress back to mean and back to the shape they were previously in.
That’s when I started exploring neuroscience and quickly discovered where I was going wrong.
Read MoreThe guest on the show he listened to was explaining something about the brain.
As a client of mine he knew that this was my area and that I had a different perspective that he’d found useful and adopted himself.
He wanted to know why I didn’t jump in
and if I found it hard to not jump in.
I’m writing this because I think the answer is useful or at least it was to me.
I used to find it REALLY hard to not “correct”.
Something about just leaving it seem unsafe.
The thought is something like,
“He’s wrong, I must speak. What if he thinks I agree with him. I MUST correct him”.
Read MoreDid you fail to fulfil your commitments to put your health and energy first yesterday.
Or did you, despite the chaos, take the very steps required to energise yourself putting you in the best possible state for the day.
Did you get sucked into your phone or laptop after work.
Or did you keep your commitment to be present with your family.
Did you operate through anxiety, overwhelm or stress.
Or did you create clarity, peace and focus.
Did you get pulled into urgency, operating reactively
Read More👉 You know what you want to achieve, and how to achieve it but you lack the particular skill required to achieve it.
😃 You know what you want to achieve but you are unclear on the ingredients required to produce the desired outcome.
🤷🏼♂️ You know exactly what to do and you are sometimes able to do it but you are unable to carry it out consistently enough to produce the desired outcome.
Usually it’s an overlap of these but objectively this is what’s happening.
It looks terrifyingly simple mapped out like this doesn’t it?
Read MoreThat’s cool and you’ll get better and better at that with practise too but when there is opportunity to refine NOW your best gets better NOW. You are literally missing an opportunity to get better every time you fail to do this (I added that last line on my second run through this).
You don’t need to wait for your 100th book to produce something you’re proud of.
This ISN’T about perfection at all.
It’s about EXCELLENCE.
Which means taking a step towards more closely fulfilling your pre-defined criteria every time the opportunity arises.
An email is not just an email, a social media post not just a social media post, a book not just a book and a conversation not just a conversation.
Read MoreWithout this skill stagnation is GUARANTEED
When you think about it, incompetence really just means a skill at which you are not yet competent.
Which is all of us at most things right?
If I put together a list of the things that I am competent at and those at which I am incompetent my incompetence list would dwarf my competence list in a very big way.
That’s normal of course, we can’t master everything like we can’t know everything.
Read MoreWell I say must, it’s more if you want to be happy and health and have a fun life.
Answering these questions will REALLY help.
I am yet to meet a good leader who recommends chancing or hoping their way to success.
They want a predictable and repeatable process for success so that they can better predict the future while ensuring that things move smoothly in the present.
Often though I find that there are clear systems for the business but there are rarely clear system for maintain themselves as well as some of the most challenging human aspects of business and life.
This means that business often becomes the safe haven FROM life.
Those leaders who manage these things MOST skilfully have a clear answer for each of the following questions.
Read MoreThere’s the peers path, this one seems safe and familiar. It’s full of the me too’s of shared experience. But often me too’s are of shared suffering of disconnected relationships, illness, back pain and what’s wrong with people who don’t think like us.
There’s the praise path, this path is often intoxicating as first we acted and got applause. Now we act for the applause and find ourselves pandering to it. It controls our choices and so direction. We are blown where ever the wind takes us and physically suffer, first only when the applause is silent then always as we see the difference between acceptance and entertainment.
Read MoreWhen we extract the lessons the memory shrinks and at the same time we become more whole in the present and better equipped to succeed at the same challenge.
Often my clients will produce exact steps of how to go about failing at the very challenge they have come to me for help with. With that comes the confident of success in the present.
Thought that might be a cool thing to know. I have found it seriously useful and often I’ll notice that I’m noticeably more relaxed from day to day.
Christina made this off hand comment to me while were skiing in France over Christmas
We were having that, are you going to make any New Years resolution conversation.
It sort of means, what would make next year better than this year when you think about it and I like that.
I had decided that I wanted to start growing my business in Denmark rather than just the Uk and I was unsure how I wanted to do it.
Read MoreI could say what I want to say to my boss or my employees without fear of what they might think.
I could dance like nobody was watching and single like nobody is listening.
And a million other things.
Some even hold it up like a badge or a flag they climbed up a mountain to plant.
“ I don’t care what anyone thinks!”
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