Getting defensive

Withdrawing from some people

Explaining to people how they’re wrong

Getting agree when people cancel on me

Basically being someone other than I wanted to be with others.

I was pretty relieved when I discovered everyone has their own version of this going on.

Although probably a far less sarcastic version.

The brain is always measuring our level of safety within the tribe

Via a part of the brain called the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (mostly) it constantly scans for risk of loss or opportunity to gain hierarchy and connection.

The guest on the show he listened to was explaining something about the brain.

As a client of mine he knew that this was my area and that I had a different perspective that he’d found useful and adopted himself.

He wanted to know why I didn’t jump in

and if I found it hard to not jump in.

I’m writing this because I think the answer is useful or at least it was to me.

I used to find it REALLY hard to not “correct”.

Something about just leaving it seem unsafe.

The thought is something like,

“He’s wrong, I must speak. What if he thinks I agree with him. I MUST correct him”.

I could say what I want to say to my boss or my employees without fear of what they might think.

I could dance like nobody was watching and single like nobody is listening.

And a million other things.

Some even hold it up like a badge or a flag they climbed up a mountain to plant.

“ I don’t care what anyone thinks!”